


Big Bad Dean Winchester

by SupernaturalWinchester67



Series: Big Bad Dean Winchester [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse (Supernatural), Angst, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Survival Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 15:15:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16895010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalWinchester67/pseuds/SupernaturalWinchester67
Summary: When the reader saves Dean Winchester one day while out scavenging, she never expected to find out he had a camp. Or to receive the backlash she does for saving his life. The reader quickly discovers that her stance that the world still has good in it irritates Dean to no end and she makes it her mission to bring a little happiness to his life. But in a world full of danger, pushing Dean Winchester too far might end up a costly mistake…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Terminology: Croat - A person(s) infected with the Croatoan virus, similar to what you might think of as a zombie

“ _Yes,_ ” you said, finding a stash of old chocolate bars and medicine in someone’s kitchen cupboard. About half of it was expired but the pain killers and allergy meds were still good for another six months. This house had turned out to be a gold mine. You’d already found a sturdy hooded jacket that had a removable liner to replace your thinning one. You’d started out this whole thing out in it, now stitched so much you couldn’t tell what was original and what wasn’t anymore. 

Your backpack got an upgrade too, a nice big camping one that could hold more food and you didn’t have to worry about the bottom falling out. Not to mention these people had fuzzy wool socks. When the apocalypse hit, a lot of the small things fell to the way side so today was definitely proving to be a good day.

They had no guns, not that you needed anymore. You were running low on ammunition for your Glock and your shotgun but you could make due for a while longer before it started getting worrisome. There were other ways to deal with the Croats. This husband and wife had been, besides being pretty cute from their wedding photos on the wall, avid outdoors people and finding a knife belt that wasn’t meant for a guy twice your size was like Christmas morning. It hung through the belt loops of your jeans, the knife just behind where your thigh holster was, your shotgun crossed on your back as you made one final sweep of the house. There wasn’t any food left to scavenge and you were good on water. There was a warm looking blanket on the couch but it wouldn’t do well in the wilderness. You went over to their bookshelf, leaving the one you’d finished and grabbing a Nicholas Sparks one. Maybe it was cheesy but at least you got to end your days on a happy note. 

You slung your pack on and clipped yourself in, hand testing out your knife a few times before you opened the door, even if you knew the area was mostly clear when you came there. You stuck to the middle of the street, hand on your hip always as you looked back and forth. It was too dangerous to attempt to take one of the cars, not when you were this far in suburbia. On foot you could slip by unseen until you got to the edge of town and had more time to work on something.

You saw a green mudded up jeep on the outskirts that looked perfect for the taking. Until you realized it belonged to someone, no car in that good of condition unless it had an owner. You made it a habit not to steal unless you were crossed first. Then again, that philosophy had left you shot once, stabbed twice and with more than a few scars. It was better to find a different car and avoid the person altogether.

“Fuck!” you heard a man shout from a building half a block down. 

“Dumbass,” you mumbled, running in that direction. At this point in the game everyone knew you  _did not_  make a sound, not unless you wanted fifty Croats on you like that.

You slipped in through a side door, your knife already out as you snuck up on two Croats, putting them down before they knew what hit them. You could hear someone grunting, fighting some off from the sound of it as you made your way towards the source. You got three more before they started to notice you and you heard what sounded like a head being smacked against the pavement. The Croat nearest you grabbed your arm as you swung, hitting it square in the face as the man stopped fighting back from what you could tell. You kicked the one on your other side and sprinted over to the Croat about to bite the unconscious dirty blonde on the ground, stabbing it fast before lunging up and getting the last one.

“Hey,” you said quietly, the man mumbling but not coming out of it from the looks of it. You sighed and stretched your arms out. “Lift with your knees.”

You grabbed hold of his arm and leg, trying to carry him but stumbling straight onto your face. You knew you didn’t have time for this, trying again and getting to your feet, crouching to get his bag nearby on the floor as you slowly made your way back to the jeep you assumed was his.

“Shit, you owe me a back massage after this buddy,” you said with a smile, knowing the adrenaline was the only thing helping you lift so much weight. You had to duck behind a car near the jeep, hearing the other Croats in the area start to converge on the building you were just in. You got the guy in his passenger seat and both your bags in the back. You pulled away quietly and didn’t stop to check him out until you were a few miles down the highway, free from anyone and anything. 

There was a first aid kit in his glove box as you stitched his cut and wrapped up his head, pulling his seatbelt on before fishing around and finding a map. There was a mark for “Camp” in what looked like one of the national parks. You’d heard rumors of a place like that, a safe place but no one seemed to know exactly where.

“Let’s get you home.”

 

When you pulled up to the front gate, you were not expecting walls that high or sturdy looking. Or to see a red dot on your chest as someone barked for you to turn off the jeep and get out.

“Hey so, I saved this guy and I think he’s from here? If not, that’s cool,” you said, holding up your hands as a few people opened up the gate. One of them slid into the jeep and drove it inside, someone else pointing for you to come with them as the gates closed behind you. There was a difference being in there, just in the air. It felt safe and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Give us your weapons,” said someone and you raised an eyebrow. “Now.”

“Just because the world ended didn’t mean manners did,” you said.

“Give us your weapons,  _please_ ,” said the man. You undid your knife belt and pulled off your shotgun and thigh holster. You pulled the one out of your shoe and gave him a smile. “Put the lady’s things in quarantine until we get her story.”

“Benny, I got this,” said a shorter man. “Walk with me?” he said to you, motioning you to follow through the parking lot of the once state park, now an impromptu motor pool from the looks of it.

“Your guy got smacked around by a Croat pretty hard. He’s been out for about thirty minutes, mumbling sometimes when he comes close to waking up. I cleaned and stitched him. No other injuries from what I can tell,” you said to Benny. “If you have a doctor they might want to know.”

“Thanks,” he said a hair softer, jogging off to catch up with where you could see they were moving the guy you’d saved on a stretcher down a road, their camp just down a little ways you guessed.

“I’m Chuck,” said the short man, reaching out to shake your hand.

“Y/N. I hope it’s nice to meet you, Chuck,” you said, giving him a friendly smile he returned.

“Well you saved the boss so it’s very nice to meet you, Y/N,” said Chuck.

“The boss?” you asked, Chuck nodding his head.

“Yup. Dean Winchester. He’s our leader around here, runs everything. I’m his second in command. I’m more the business side while he does tactical if that makes any sense,” said Chuck. “What happened out there? Dean doesn’t make mistakes.”

“I just heard the dude yelling and went in the building to find about six or seven Croats on him. I’m sure he could have handled it but he was half conscious when I got there so…” you said, shrugging your arms, looking around at the park as Chuck slowed his walk before heading down the road. “If you give me my stuff back, I’ll leave. I’m not in the mood to start a fight.”

“You don’t want anything in return for saving Dean?” asked Chuck. You shook your head.

“Humans look out for other humans. Or at least we should. It’s not right to take advantage of a situation like that,” you said, Chuck staring at you strangely. 

“Dean’s the kind of guy that would take that as a weakness you know,” said Chuck.

“Well I’m not Dean. I’m Y/N and I don’t think the world has to be as bad a place as everyone makes it out to be. If being a good person is weakness then I’m weak,” you said. “Am I allowed to go, Chuck?”

“Do you have a camp?” he asked. You shook your head and he smiled. “Do you have anyone?”

“I used to have a dog, Huxley. A couple Croats got him,” you said. “Always figured he’d get hit by a car or something. He wasn’t the smartest but he was a good dog, loyal and-”

“You’re not a spy, not someone from that Crooked group, right?” asked Chuck.

“No. I wouldn’t call myself their biggest fan,” you said, pulling your jacket and shirt away to show a scar. “Big guy tried to bring me back to their camp once. I didn’t exactly like the way he phrased it so he shot me.”

“You could be lying about that scar,” said Chuck.

“Alright. I could be lying. Your options are to either let me leave with my stuff or kill me because you don’t trust me. Either way, fate’s out of my hands now. No use in getting upset about it,” you said, Chuck tilting his head at you. “I mean obvioulsy don’t kill me. I won’t be so nice if you try to.”

“Why aren’t you jaded if you’ve been on the road alone so long? You’re a bit of an odd one,” he said.

“I don’t know. It must be all the romance novels sticking with me,” you joked. “I still have hope I guess. Or as Dean would say I have weakness.”

“Come with me, I want to introduce you to some people.”

 

“So, Y/N, do you want to stay on?” asked Bobby. You were surprised when Chuck brought you to a room full of people, each of them asking you different things from where you grew up to the worst action you’d seen. “We’d normally confer with Dean but he’s being a lazy ass in his bed.”

“He got hurt,” you said, taking a second to realize he was only joking. “Um, I don’t know, I haven’t been in a group since everything started really. My first one got cleared out that first week and I’ve been on my own since then.”

“It’s been over a year. That’s a long time to be by yourself,” said Benny. “We don’t bite.”

“I…I don’t know. What can I do? I’m just another mouth to feed and body to take up space. I don’t think it’s a good idea,” you said, not sure why you were pushing them away when all you’d been looking for was a place to settle down for the past year.

“You’ll be assigned a job,” said Chuck. “Everyone has one apart from the kids. You have a wide skill set so Dean’ll probably put you on whatever kind of detail you want really. You contribute and we take it one day at a time. Come on, you know you want to. You’ve been smiling the second you stepped foot in here. We could use that around here.”

“I guess I can stay,” you said. “But I told you before, I don’t want anything for helping Dean. Just treat me like anyone else.”

“Whatever you want,” said Chuck. “I’ll show you around and by the time we’re done, hopefully Dean’ll be in the mood to talk.”

Chuck returned your belongings to you as he walked you around to the front service cabin, the map on the wall showing they’d secured about a third of it and even had some domestication of the land going on near the river that ran through the park. There were about fifty people there, some families but mostly individuals that had come along the way. When Chuck showed you your own cabin, you frowned.

“You said I wasn’t being treated special. I should get bunked up with someone,” you said.

“If you want a roommate, we can put you on the list but we don’t force people together unless we run out of cabins and we haven’t yet. It’s not Caesar’s Palace but it’ll do,” said Chuck, opening the door to show you the small space. The bed was tucked up against the wall, a small kitchenette in the corner, a wood burning fireplace and small love seat in the other, a bathroom behind a door taking up the remaining space.

“I get my own bathroom?” you said, Chuck nodding.

“There’s no hot water, it comes straight from the river but we don’t worry about getting thirsty here,” said Chuck, checking his watch. “Dean should be ready for visitors by now after getting debriefed. Want to go say hi?”

“Sure,” you said, following Chuck to Dean’s cabin, a bit isolated from everyone else, Chuck knocking on the door and coming inside to find Dean swallowing down a big glass of water with a gulp. 

“Dean this is-”

“Excuse me but since when do we invite people to stay without my say so?” he said, shooting daggers at Chuck and then you. “We have rules for a fucking reason, Chuck.”

“Y/N did save you Dean. That should count for-”

“Get out. I want to talk to her. Alone,” said Dean, Chuck saying he’d be at the front cabin for when you were finished. Dean pulled out a chair from his table and put it in the middle of the room. “Sit.”

You weren’t a fan of his grumpiness but did as told. Maybe he was having some PTSD after what happened earlier and-

“I’ve heard you’re just a little ray of sunshine around here,” said Dean, staring down at you, arms crossed. “Coming in and saving the day.”

“I’m sorry but are you  _mad_  at me for saving your life?” you asked, Dean bending down to get in your face.

“I have a reputation around here and it certainly isn’t the nice guy. So yeah, I got a problem with a little mutt off the street coming into my house uninvited,” said Dean. You didn’t have a comeback for that, instead Dean just giving you a dark smirk as you glanced at your lap. “But you’re already in and it doesn’t look good if I throw you out so puppy gets to stay. Good for you.”

“Why are you being so mean?” you asked. “I didn’t do anything but-”

“Do not talk back to me. I might not have a reason to get rid of you but there are plenty of rules around here and if you break even one, I’ll dump your ass out in the middle of nowhere so fast you’ll realize how nice I’m being right now,” he said, glaring at you.

“You don’t like that I’m kind, do you,” you said, looking up to see dark green eyes searching yours.

“How the hell something like you made it this long I have no idea. We live in the real world here. People understand that today might be their last day in this hell hole and you’re here for an  _hour_  and people are making fucking weekend plans like the world is suddenly full of rainbows and unicorns. So shove that shit down and get with the program, sweetheart,” said Dean.

“Sounds to me like you with all your big walls and guns are the scared one, not me,” you said, Dean walking behind you and grabbing a notebook, walking to the counter and flipping through it.

“What’s your last name?” he asked, grabbing a pencil. “Don’t make me ask twice.”

“Y/L/N. Y/N Y/L/N,” you said, Dean jotting it down and shutting the book.

“Y/N, you’re on sanitation duty. Second and third shifts to start,” said Dean. 

“What’s that?” you asked, not thrilled with having to work all night but knowing what he was up to already.

“Clean up around camp and composting. Laundry duty for the fighters. Cleaning the weapons. Cleaning the trucks. You see anything that’s dirty? You clean it,” he said, wearing a frown.

“Does that include people’s cabins?” you asked, Dean’s hard gaze almost breaking for a moment.

“No. People are responsible for cleaning their own cabins. You start work at 4 pm. You get an hour of break time to use as you please. You’re expected to keep your own cabin clean and-”

“I’m going to prove you wrong you know,” you said, standing up and stretching.

“Excuse me?” he asked, shock on his face.

“You’re going to try and break me. I get it but it ain’t going to work babe. You’ll be wearing a smile long before mine goes away,” you said. You started to leave as you heard him move across the room and spin you around.

“Where the hell are you going?” he demanded, eyes like fire when you gave him a smirk.

“Well unless the clock on your wall is wrong, I have work in twenty minutes. I should go settle in and eat something. Wouldn’t want to make the boss unhappy be being late on my first day, would I?” you teased, patting Dean on the chest. “Later Dean.”

You caught sight of Dean a few hours later as he munched on a bean burrito that they were making for dinner, sliding in to take a spot across from him.

“Did you know that Chuck said we don’t have a third shift for sanitation? We don’t have a third shift for anything beside security which is already maxed out. Isn’t that funny?” you asked, giving Dean a big smile.

“Well you caught me. Doesn’t mean you’re off sanitation,” said Dean.

“Oh I actually like it,” you said, Dean nearly choking on his food.

“ _You like it?_  You like cleaning?” asked Dean.

“I like helping. I’d like any job really,” you said, Dean growling under his breath. “How’s your head? You aren’t allowed to sleep tonight with the-”

“Yes I’ve had a concussion before, I know the drill,” he said. “Go away before I come up with a new assignment for you.”

“Is the trying to break me thing not working out for you?” you asked, Dean ripping your plate away, taking a bite of your food before shoving it back. “You know that’s reportable. I could have you thrown out for that  _severe violation_.”

“You are so freaking…I wish that Croat had killed me so I wouldn’t have to be anywhere near your annoying ass,” said Dean, getting up to leave. You didn’t let his comment bother you until you were lying down in your bed just after midnight, doing your best to shove it to the back of your mind. He wasn’t going to get you down.

You woke up to a loud knocking on your door, just after seven. You trudged over to find Dean on the other side, looking you up and down, half asleep in your clothes.

“You’re off sanitation. I need ‘backup’ on a scavenge mission apparently. Chuck won’t let me leave without any,” said Dean. 

“And you willingly want to bring someone you openly hate?” you asked, cocking your head.

“Rather you than one of my friends. If I have to shoot you I won’t even bat an eye,” said Dean.

“You know how to make a girl feel special,” you said, turning around to grab your boots. “Give me ten minutes.”

“Be at the mess hall in five,” he said. You pulled on your shoes and used the bathroom quickly, tidying up your bed before throwing on your thigh holster and knife belt, throwing some water in your empty backpack and jogging to meet up with Dean before he got more pissed.

“Bean burritos again?” you asked, Dean raising an eyebrow at you as you walked in for an early breakfast.

“We eat a lot of bean burritos around here,” he said. “Eat while we walk. I want to be out of here soon.”

You munched down breakfast as you went to keep up with him, Dean getting flack from Benny when he tried to take the keys.

“Seriously? I’m fine,” said Dean.

“And you haven’t slept in forever. Y/N’s driving or you’re not heading out boss. Doctor’s orders,” said Benny.

“You’re not the fucking doctor, dip shit. Cas is, ” said Dean, grumpily getting into the passenger seat.

“Take whatever’s shoved up your ass this morning out. You’re with a lady. Cute one too,” said Benny to Dean through the window. “I think she even likes you. Hasn’t slapped you in the face yet.”

“Does that happen often?” you asked, Benny nodding, Dean pointing for you to get in the truck.

“Dean’s good for a lay but not much else from what we’ve heard,” teased Benny.

“Watch it or I’ll put you back on medical duty. You know how much you fucking hate blood,” said Dean, Benny rolling his eyes.

“Watch this one,” said Benny, shutting Dean’s door. “He’s a softie if you can get to know him. At least he used to be one before the Croats took over.”

“If I can get him to smile, I’ll call that a win,” you said, Benny giving one in return.

“Told him we needed someone like you around here. Better get going before boss man hot wire’s his own truck,” said Benny as you ran around to the other side and got in.

“Are you girls done gossiping?” said Dean crossing his arms.

“Where are we headed captain?” you joked, Dean rolling his eyes.

“A neighborhood about twenty miles from here. Chuck said you found hunting provisions in a house. We could use what you didn’t take,” said Dean.

“We shouldn’t take a truck in there. It’s too-”

“I know that. We’ll cut through the woods, piece mail supplies back to the truck. If that house was relatively untouched that neighborhood probably is too,” said Dean.

“Why haven’t you ever gone there? I was just passing through but it seems close to camp,” you said, Dean shaking his head.

“It’s been a hot spot for the past year. The Croats have spread out enough it’s not as bad to go in now. I need you on your best game. If it might be useful, bag it,” he said. You raised an eyebrow and he sighed. “I don’t have to teach you to scavenge unlike some of them. No talking out there. You get separated, make your way back to camp.”

“Understood, boss,” you said, the rest of the thirty minute drive done in silence. 

You got the house you’d originally gone through cleared out and in the truck with relative ease, Dean pointing out for you to search a colonial while he took a ranch across the street. You found some more useful supplies and were going through your second run of the basement when you heard the stairs creak. You glanced around, knife out, stairs creaking again, a sneaker appearing that made you swear under your breath. There was another set of shoes and then another and another, moving too groggily to be humans. There was no where to go in the small space as you hid behind some shelves, at least ten down there now and more on the way. One tilted it’s head and sniffed, craning it’s neck in your direction and you knew you were screwed.

You got at least eight shots off, clearing away a mess of them as more poured down the stairs, backing you into a corner, trapped there. You got another bunch before you had to reload, the basement filling up with bodies fast as you really had no where to turn to. When you pulled the trigger and it clicked empty you grabbed your knife, swiping away at the ones closest, the Croats too near now as you felt a few hands grabbing, one shoving as you heard more than felt your skull hit the metal shelf. You slumped down, dropping your knife, unable to see anything as the blinding pain made you lose track of everything. By the time you got hold of the blade again, hands were tearing at your backpack and you waited for them to start doing the same to you.

Instead seven very clear rounds shot out, the hands on you going limp, one dragging you up a few moments later and pulling you up the stairs fast. You had no idea if you were even inside anymore, the hand twisting and tugging and pulling until you were being forced up more stairs and then another flight, a loud thud as something was pulled shut. You forced your eyes open, in an attic of some sort with Dean locking the pull down stairs in place, turning around to see you trying to stand.

“Sit down,” he said, going to the window and looking outside. “We’re stuck here until they clear out. Probably all night from the looks of it.”

“What?” you asked, a hand on your head where it felt warm and sticky. Dean picked you up and set you down in the light, ripping off your backpack as he moved your hair to see the gash there. Dean looked you over twice before determining you hadn’t been bit, wrapping a bandana around your head as a makeshift bandage until you could get to camp. “Where’d they come from?”

“No idea. They came running once they heard the shots,” said Dean. 

“I’m surprised,” you said, wincing but giving Dean a smile.

“Trust me. I didn’t expect you to be that good of a shot either,” he said.

“I’m surprised you didn’t leave me there considering you hate me and all,” you said. You were fully expecting a wise crack back, another round of him spewing nasty things at you. Not the hurt green eyes that were staring at your own.

“You’re a member of the camp. We look out for each other. Out here, you’re my responsibility. I don’t leave people to die, especially not like that,” said Dean. You opened your mouth to speak but he shook his head. “Stay awake. Keep an eye on the street. We’ll head back to the truck when there’s a break.”

“Dean I’m sorry for-”

“Watch the street, Y/N,” said Dean, moving to sit on the other side of the attic, back turned to you. You would have groaned if you didn’t think it’d make him more angry. 

“Thank you…for saving me,” you said.

“We’re even now,” he said, your hands shaking some. It’d been a while since you had that close of a call. Not since Huxley gave you the chance to get away. Even then that stupid dog had a big smile on it’s face as it saved you. You wondered when the last time Dean actually smiled was. Not out of some anger or sarcasm or to be dangerous. Something happy and kind. “I said watch the street, not your lap.”

“Yes sir,” you said, lifting your head.

As soon as you were able to, maybe you should get out of there before Dean sucked all the joy from your life too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and the reader make it back to camp but things don’t settle down…

“Hey,” said Dean, shoving on your shoulder as you zoned out. You blinked up at him, watching the sun rise in the distance after staying there in silence for hours. “You okay to walk? You’ve been out of it all night.”

“I’m ready anytime you are,” you said, trying to stand when Dean’s hand kept you back down. “What?”

“You look sick,” he said, squeezing your jaw open, staring inside your mouth. “None of them spit or anything right? None of the-”

“I threw up while you were sleeping,” you said quickly, looking away, not wanting him to see how you’d gotten scared. “Must be the concussion.”

He squinted his eyes but nodded, either not caring enough to push it or buying it somehow. You helped you to your feet and gave you your pack, slipping it over your shoulders and clipping you in. He watched you for a moment as you rubbed your eyes with the back of your hand, Dean looking at you with ones like you were the biggest hinderance of his life.

“We should go. The street’s clear and we can get back to the truck in a few minutes,” you said, putting on a smile that made the sliver of softness that was there disappear from his face.

“Not a sound,” he said, dropping the attic stairs quietly. You climbed down on your own but Dean’s hand wrapped around yours unexpectedly, pulling you with him through the house and yard, up until you were in the truck and back on the road. He didn’t say a word as you got back to camp and told them what happened and to have you monitored on the off chance you’d been infected. 

The camp doctor was not exactly what you called a  _normal_  guy. Cas stitched up your head and cleaned you up but it was like he was hitting on you as he watched you for the day, only adding to your confusion. He released you at dinner and instructed you that you were off work the next few days to heal up, no matter what Dean said.

You didn’t have to worry about that as Dean was avoiding you like the plague. Chuck told you about the small research group they had that was working on a cure but they were lacking certain information that was too difficult to get, located in some bunker in Kansas. When he noticed your interest, he asked if you wanted him to talk to Dean about putting you on the job but you’d noticed something about Dean, something not all that great.

For the first time in a year, you were starting to get down. You’d had plenty of life is shit moments over the months and shed plenty of tears but you’d never felt the hope not come back all the way. His words were hitting you hard for some reason. It was a week later when you spoke to Chuck about your decision and he wasn’t too happy with you.

“You want to leave? Why? Camp morale is up thanks to some of the initiatives you’ve started. People are taking their training more seriously. Stacy and Todd were even talking about having a kid,” said Chuck. “No one’s been this happy around here ever.”

“I know Chuck. I know. The thing is, I don’t belong here. I’m supposed to be alone. I…I’m not doing well in this environment if you can try to understand. For my own well-being, I need to leave the camp,” you said. “I know I’ve only been here not even two weeks but maybe you can run with the stuff I came up with, more community stuff,” you said.

“Y/N, I really don’t want you to go. None of us do,” said Chuck.

“Somebody does and he’s in charge so I think it’ll make us both happy if I’m out of here and the sooner the better,” you said, adjusting your pack. “If I’m ever in the neighborhood, I’ll swing by and say hi, drop off supplies if I can.”

“You’re never coming back, are you,” said Chuck, rubbing his temples. “Dean can be a scary, tough, angry guy. I’ve seen him do things most can’t do. Don’t let him drive you away. He’s not allowed to harass-”

“Chuck, I’m leaving of my own free will. I just wanted to say bye to my friend, my first friend that didn’t want anything from me in return that I’ve had in a long time,” you said, Chuck glancing down. “Kick Dean’s ass for me when he gets out of line, would ya?”

“Yeah, sure,” said Chuck, letting you give him a hug. “Be safe out there. If you ever want to come back, there’s always a place for you here.”

“Sure, Chuck,” you said. “Walk me out, would you?”

 

Three Months Later

You were in Lebanon, Kansas, sitting on the top of a grocery store, eating a can of chick peas as you gazed around. There were a pair of Croats wandering around in the parking lot as you cocked your head and shrugged. You set your lunch down and grabbed your crossbow, taking aim at one and then the other one, nodding to yourself when you got them both.

“We’re getting better at that,” you said to yourself, putting the bow down again and picking up your can. You dangled your feet over the edge of the building, smiling as you sucked your spoon clean. You took aim with your empty can and shot for a garbage can, bouncing around the rim before landing inside. You were doing well, not starving to death, not having a major run in with the Croats since scavenging with Dean, instead picking them off one at a time as you saw them. Still, you couldn’t quite get camp out of your mind. 

You hadn’t slept as well since then, hadn’t had the luxury of safety or not wondering where water would come from. There were certain things you missed about the place. People for one. Kids playing, couples laughing, even just talking with Chuck about the plan for the day. 

But your hope slipped away there. That was your compromise. Have hope and be alone or have it taken away and have all those other things. Honestly it came down to Dean and his attitude. If he was a just a little bit nicer, maybe if he wasn’t so set that the world was truly over, maybe he’d start to see things your way and camp could be home for good.

“For fuck’s sake, Y/N,” you said, slapping yourself in the face. “The fucking research!”

You were in Lebanon, home of this mysterious bunker you’d heard about. You knew it’d be rampant with Croats but this town seemed fairly desolate and you killed every one you saw no problem. Maybe the Croats were out of there and you could bring the research back, give Dean the hope he needed too.

You made your way back through the store, heading over to the town library to find some local maps, guessing that the weird structure in the hill on the edge of town had to be it. It was no problem at all to find it, wandering around to find a garage door open and steps inside leading to a brightly lit hallway. The fact the power was on was strange but you didn’t question it. You were quiet as you stepped inside, no sign of life there as you made your way around the place, finding a few bedrooms, one with some guns on the wall that you instantly went to and started to see if any of them would be useful. You found a grenade launcher and wanted it so bad but you didn’t have the room in your pack, glancing around for anything small and useful. You had to stop when you saw a picture on the desk.

There was a smiling, albeit younger, laughing Dean Winchester with Cas and someone else. You spun around and realized you were in what was once his room. You grabbed the photo and shoved it in your pack, continuing through the halls until you came to a library that had your jaw dropping.

“Well, you weren’t kidding about the research,” you said, looking around, trying to determine how they were organized. There were two books Chuck told you about that you found and shoved in your bag, trying to ignore all of the strange titles you ran across. You shoved a leather bound journal in there too and went to head out the way you came, a Croat standing not too far off, moving way too silently to be a normal one.

It lunged at you and you got it down with your blade, your bow too cumbersome in a tight space. You saw them start to flank out of the aisles as you scrambled up on a table, shooting at anything that moved. These ones were fast though and they figured out quickly that you were targeting them. They got under you and flipped the table, tossing you across the room and into a cement one, your back hitting a stair railing. You grunted as you tried to get up, your pack caught on something as the Croats ran up on you and something hit you in the head hard. You felt it again, these ones taunting you almost before tearing you apart, throwing something heavy looking before smacking you in the face and everything going lights out.

 

You woke up in the back of a dark truck, staring at the ceiling, your ear spitting headache making you wish you were actually dead for a second.

“Morning sunshine,” you heard a rough voice say, your head turning to the right to see Dean sitting next to you in the back of his jeep. “You have got to be the stupidest person I’ve ever met in my life.”

“Did I die?” you asked, Dean shaking his head.

“Pretty damn close to it. You’re lucky I still have the key to the front door or you’d be Croat food,” he said.

“How’d you find me?” you asked, starting to cough, Dean helping you sit up. He poured some cold water into your mouth and you gulped it down greedily.

“Never lost you. I’ve been following you ever since you left. I thought you might have been a spy after all,” said Dean.

“I left because of you,” you coughed into his chest, burrowing into it before moving away, Dean already thinking you were weak enough.

“Yeah, I figured that out after a few days. Then I figured you’d be stupid enough to come after the research and I’ve been watching your back ever since,” said Dean.

“Why?” you asked, trying to sit up on your own all the way but falling back against him, Dean shushing you.

“Because Chuck chewed me out for the first time in my life and to be honest, people got pretty damn pissed off when they put two and two together that my attitude made you leave. Apparently they like you better than me,” said Dean.

“You’re just mean. It’s not a crime,” you said, trying to close your eyes, Dean not shouting at you that you had to stay awake. “You’re not mean. You’re-”

“I’m mean. It’s okay to say it,” said Dean. “Not had much of a reason to be nice lately.”

“Do me a favor? Try, for me. I even got your research to make you happy,” you said, pointing over at your bag. Dean propped you upright and opened it up as you saw you were pulled over on the side of the road, the sky full of stars.

“You got dad’s journal,” he said quietly, forgetting the research as he pulled out the picture as well, a tiny smile tugging it’s way onto his lips.

“Dean Winchester does know how to smile,” you said, wearing one of your own. “You look better with one on I have to say.”

“This was my brother,” said Dean. “I didn’t have anything, not that we had many pictures but still.”

“My little trip was worth it then,” you said, Dean raising his head confused. “You got a little hope back. That’s all I ever want to see in you Dean. Even if you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Y/N,” said Dean. “I just hate your freaking hope.”

You didn’t respond and Dean shifted you into the front seat, climbing into the driver’s seat and turning the engine on.

“You’re coming back to camp and you’re not running off again. Understand?” he asked.

“Yes,” you said, resting your head against the window.

“Yes what?” he said, turning onto the road.

“You were nice for about two minutes back there, Dean. I did it once and I’ll do it again,” you said, Dean tugging on your arm so you sat up. 

“Good luck with that,” said Dean. “No sleeping.”

“I forgot what a joy you can be, Dean.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is trying his best to be more upbeat but an incident leaves Dean and the reader’s relationship in uncharted territory…

“You wanted to see me?” you said, knocking on the screen door of Dean’s cabin. You’d been back for about a month, fully healed thanks to Cas, but you still felt tense anytime you were around Dean, not that you made it a habit to hang out with him.

“Come in,” he said, waving you inside. “Take a seat.”

You sat down at the table, Dean pouring over a few maps and papers, letting you stew for a few moments before lifting his head.

“Am I in trouble?” you asked. Dean cocked his head and looked you up and down.

“I haven’t decided yet. I’d try to convince me you’re not if I were you,” said Dean.

“What rule did I supposedly break?” you asked, sighing as Dean stood up, sliding a sheet of paper over to you. “The basketball league? You said we could do it.”

“I did say that. It’s been going well too. All of your little ideas have been. So why is it that you haven’t signed up for a single one?” asked Dean.

“I’m in trouble because I  _haven’t_  picked a team to play on? If you want me to go play, I’ll play. I didn’t know it was mandatory,” you said. Dean walked around the table and spun around a chair, straddling it as he rested his arms over the back of it, staring at you.

“You’re isolating yourself. We didn’t pay much attention to that kind of thing before but now we do. You’re losing your spark, Y/N. When was the last time you even argued with me? Two weeks ago?” asked Dean.

“Wait, so I’m in trouble because I didn’t sign up for something that isn’t mandatory and for following your orders?” you asked. “Dean, not to say anything out of line, but you’re confusing the shit out of me.”

“Well I’m confused too. I thought you wanted a home here. For all of your efforts to bring camp morale up and bring a little joy to this place, you sure are looking down,” said Dean. “Is this because I said you’re not allowed to leave? You can…go if you think that’d be best for you.”

“I don’t want to go,” you said. “I just…”

“You just…” said Dean. “Spill the beans or I’ll volunteer you to taste test the new dishes out of the mess hall.”

“I get where you’re coming from is all. The world ended. This is our life now,” you said.

“You’re definitely in trouble now,” said Dean, standing up going to a drawer in his kitchen and pulling out a red band like you would have gotten at a concert, putting it on your wrist. “You’re on the red flag list until further notice. I or any of security catches you without that on, you really will be breaking a rule.”

“Fuck off,” you said, snapping the band with your knife, staring him down as he sighed. “I have to go back to work.”

 

You got a knock on your door that night as you sat on your love seat reading a book from the library that’d started up. You could see Dean through the screen door before he came in on his own.

“You are breaking and entering,” you said, not bothering to look up from your book. He pulled one of your hands away and put another red band on, letting it drop back in your lap. “I’ll just cut if off again.”

“I’m trusting that you won’t,” said Dean. You snapped your head up, Dean leaning by your door with a tired face. “Don’t let me win this fight.”

“What are you even talking about Dean?” you asked. “If I want to leave camp, a red piece of plastic is not stopping me.”

“I want you to talk back and get in my face and do stupid shit to try and get me to laugh or smile. But you’re getting like me because I’m an asshole. So this is an olive branch or whatever. If you start participating like you used to, maybe you’ll even convince grumpy old camp leader Dean Winchester that this shit show we call life has a little good left in it,” said Dean.

“This is a symbol is what you’re saying,” you said, holding up your arm. “You put one on.”

“Excuse me?” he said. “I can’t-”

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot. Leadership gets these nice fancy black ones,” you said, going to you kitchen drawer, pulling one out and putting it on his wrist.

“You know the black bands are only for if you think leadership is out of line,” said Dean.

“You could always cut if off but if you want out of these walls anytime soon-”

“You’re blackmailing me,” he said, squinting his eyes at you.

“There’s a co-ed team that needs two people. You want me to make you lose this fight, you’re joining with me,” you said, Dean tugging at the band but sighing. “It’s your choice. Cut that off if you want to but as a sign of our newfound trust, I hope you keep it on until…” you said, Dean ripping it off barehanded.

“Don’t forget who’s in charge,” he said, turning around, heading down the steps as you went to slam your door shut. “You better not make us wear those tiny ass shorts!”

You locked up for the night but had a big smile on your face as you sat back down. Dean might have still been an ass but at least he was trying to be less of one.

 

“Dean, I think you almost smiled today,” you said, walking back to your cabin with him, Dean chugging down some water. “You had fun, didn’t you?”

“I got in exercise. Good for the reflexes,” he said, hearing you sigh next to him. “You kept your band on.”

“I’m trying to earn some trust. There’s this real dickhead around here that I suspect is a big softie and probably very kind but he doesn’t want anyone to know that,” you said. “I’ll keep it on until he sees things my way.”

“What exactly is your way?” he asked, stopping outside your cabin.

“You think the world ended. I think  _parts_  of the world ended. Flowers are still pretty, a warm wind still feels good, you can still hear a joke and laugh. You’re stressed which I get, I totally get. But you are a human being Dean. You need to smile every once in a while, just be happy you’re alive,” you said.

“How’s research going?” asked Dean, changing the subject. “I’ve heard you might have something.”

“We’ve got a very preliminary substance at the moment. Odds are it’ll kill someone outright if we use it. We need more time to work it,” you said.

“I also may have heard you’re working on not one but two cures,” said Dean. You turned to go up your steps, Dean’s hand catching your wrist lightly. “I put you in charge of the research team because I trust your judgement. It’s not a bad thing. Stupid but not bad.”

“Doesn’t it even bother you? Killing the Croats?” you asked. Dean shrugged and dropped your hand. “You like it, don’t you?”

“I like staying alive. If you want to make an immunization for us humans and a reversal for the Croats, I won’t stop you. Just prioritize us first, hm?” he said, rubbing your arm. You stared at his hand on you as he pulled it away fast. “Nice free throws today.”

“Tuck your elbow in. More accurate,” you said.

“Remember that with your bow,” said Dean, patting your shoulder as he stepped away. “You keep your elbow out too far and don’t pull back far enough with your shoulder.”

“You spying on me now?” you asked, Dean chuckling.

“You signed up for hunting. I’m surprised actually,” said Dean. “Garth said you could teach the class yourself.”

“Apart from the bow. The kids were better than me,” you said.

“Good thing this ain’t the Hunger Games then or you’d be screwed Katniss,” said Dean, giving you a wave. “I want a written status update on your research tomorrow afternoon, got it?”

“Whatever you say boss,” you said, hopping up a few steps before spinning around. “Dean?”

“Yeah?” he asked. “You can just drop it off if I’m not there.”

“Okay. I wanted to ask about that bunker place. How-”

“I figured it was kind of obvious I used to live there when you went poking around in my room,” he said, squinting his eyes.

“Personal space hasn’t been much of a thing lately so relax. I didn’t rifle through your drawers. I was just wondering…why’d you leave? That place is easy to defend, only two ways in or out, it was a bit isolated…” you said. Dean looked like he wanted to laugh but it was dark.

“There’s stuff you don’t need to know. You just don’t. As far as the bunker goes, it’s a lost cause. I cleared it out once and it filled right back up the next day,” he said.

“That doesn’t make any sense, how-”

“Someone thought it would be funny. The bunker is a lost cause. This camp is good and it’s all we need. I don’t want you to talk about the bunker to anyone anymore, understand?” said Dean, the carefree eyes you saw not ten minutes ago gone.

“Yes, sir.”

 

A few more weeks went by when you were lying in bed, slowly waking up, enjoying a nice lazy day. 

“Get up ya bum!” you heard from your door, Dean’s fist pounding on the other side. You grumbled and threw on some pants, blinking at him as his eyes wandered over your face. “You got a little drool there…”

“What can I do for you this morning, Dean? It is my day off you know,” you said, crossing your arms. “I think I was explicitly told by a certain someone that I should start taking my days off before he makes me.”

“It is your day off, Y/N. You’re going on a very special scavenge field trip,” said Dean, walking inside your house, tossing your boots at you. “Come on, you haven’t been out of the camp since you got the research. We wouldn’t want you to get rusty or anything, now would we?”

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to leave camp,” you said, holding up your arm, the red band still there from over a month ago. Dean cocked his head and grabbed your knife, backpack and gun, setting them down on your front table.

“Well, you’ll be under supervision,” said Dean. “You’re still a flight risk.”

“I want to stay,” you said honestly, Dean nodding his head.

“I know. This is me trusting that you’ll come back,” said Dean. You raised an eyebrow and he crossed his arms. “Oh, I’m not going with you. It’s my day off too.”

“Seriously? You are such an asshole,” you said, Dean shrugging. 

“Rufus, Benny and Abby are waiting in the front lot whenever you’re ready,” he said.

“Abby?” you asked, Dean holding his hand up high.

“Taller chick, red head, kind of sassy. She got here just before you got back. Out on the road for a long time like you, not always alone though, had a group mostly. Surprised you guys haven’t met yet. She fucking hates me. You’d get along great,” said Dean, walking down your front steps. “Get a move on Y/L/N!”

“I was going to sleep in today, jerk!” you shouted back, getting ready quickly before grabbing breakfast to go and meeting up with the group.

You were happy to be out there again, testing yourself. Although, there was a very clear reason you and this Abby chick hadn’t spoken before. If Dean could wipe a smile off your face, she could stomp it into the dirt before setting it on fire. You’d never met someone so unpleasantly vicious, happy to kill Croat after Croat out there.

“Rufus, not to be that person but she seem kind of…” you said, Rufus nodding his head. 

“I don’t know. I kept telling Dean I think she’s a Crooked. She’s got that…kill everything way about her,” said Rufus.

“You two done talking about me or do you want to get back to work? Not often the boss let’s his pet outside huh sweetie?” she said, Rufus holding out an arm in front of you.

“Okay, we’ll go over here then,” said Rufus, pulling you away before you did something you regretted. 

“Do people think I’m Dean’s-”

“No. Forget about her. I’ll sweep the house if you want the garage,” said Rufus, patting you on the back. You sighed and broke off from him, looking around the cluttered space, trying to see if there was anything valuable. You snagged some motor oil and some spark plugs Benny had asked you to keep an eye out for but not much else. Something wet slapped the cement beside you, a piece of fresh rabbit from the color and size. You spun around to catch Abby standing part way down the driveway, giving you a smile before taking off. You cocked your head when a Croat bolted around the corner, smelling the fresh grub before turning towards you. 

You reached for your gun but it clicked empty, no rounds in the chamber. You started pulling your knife out in the same motion when you saw that the sheath was sewn shut.

“Oh, that bitch,” you said, regretting the five minutes she was alone with your supplies, graciously offering to watch your stuff while you used the bathroom.

You backed up into a work bench, grabbing at a wrench with one hand as you shouted for Rufus and Benny. You dodged the Croat and whacked it hard, once and then twice, something sharp tearing into your arm on the third swing.

You screamed when you realized it was teeth from another Croat, quickly wailing on the one attached to you before you heard a shot ring out and it went down. You bashed the first one good before rolling over in front of them, Rufus and Benny stopping when they saw you.

“Do it,” you said, holding a hand over your bleeding arm. You grolwed when they didn’t move. “I said do it! I don’t want to be one of those things.”

“It takes a few hours,” said Rufus. “We’ll get you back to camp and go from there.”

“Do not bring me back to camp, that is way too big of a risk,” you said. “I’ll do it myself if you two won’t. Give me a gun.”

“Sorry darlin’. Boss said you don’t come back alive, we better not bother coming back and we kind of like it there so no one’s dying today,” said Benny, nodding to Rufus as they came inside and wrapped up your arm, helping you to your feet. You could hear a truck in the distance and they both cursed, Rufus taking off and looking for a car to get you back with. 

It took twenty minutes and you already started to feel funny. You figured you looked it too since they didn’t bother to go under fifty the whole way back, showing up at the gate an hour later with you on Benny’s back.

“What happened?” asked Chuck, seeing you lazily hold up your arm, shifting to hide away in Benny’s neck. “She’s bit? Get her to Medical now.”

You passed out on Benny a few times on the trip through camp, getting more than a few looks before you were being set down on a bed, Dean storming in ten seconds later.

“I told you shit heads to watch her back out there! She hasn’t been out there in a month and you just let her get attacked!” shouted Dean, your hand tugging on his turning his attention to you.

“Abby lured a couple in on me. She stopped me from using my weapons. It’s not their fault, Dean,” you said with a croak. “Come on, just do it already. I’m not going full Croat on this place.”

“Shit,” said Dean, dropping your hand as he went to the other side of the room, flipping over a table. “I ever see that bitch, I’ll kill her.”

“Bigger problem at the moment, boss,” said Benny. “What we going to do about Y/N? We ain’t exactly got much time left to make a decision.”

“I made a decision, you assholes just aren’t doing what I say!” you shouted, sitting up in bed, gripping the sheets tightly. You saw them all take a step back, except for Dean. Your arm was throbbing now as you squeezed it, wishing getting rid of it would solve the problem but knowing that was no use.

“Cas, can you run over to the research cabin? Get the cure Y/N was working on,” said Dean. “Both of them. Now Cas.”

“Where the fuck did he just go?” you asked, watching Cas disappear and reappear in front of you, now holding two tiny bottles.

“It’s…complicated,” said Dean, grabbing the bottles as you lay back down, the last bits of energy in you sucking up fast. “Stay with me, Y/N.”

“It’s not ready yet. Neither of them are ready,” you said. “None of the mice lived through either.”

“Well I’m not giving you just one then,” said Dean, pouring one bottle into the other and swirling it around. “I think we just need a little miracle is all.”

“You’re going to kill me. You’re going to kill me if I take that!” you shouted, Cas already midway through filling up a syringe and handing it to Dean.

“Have a little hope, Y/N,” said Dean, smiling at you for the first time in your life. He held up the syringe and gave it a little squirt. “Trust me?”

“It’s not on you,” you said, snatching it out of his hand and stabbing yourself in the arm, gasping a few times before tossing it to the side. “If I die, it’s on me, not on you, got it?”

Dean nodded as you panted and shot up, doubling over as you tried to suck in a breath but couldn’t. You dug your fingers into your own flesh, something happening in your blood that made you feel on fire, something that hurt and hurt and you didn’t care that you reached out for Dean’s hand and held on so tight you must have broken something. 

Even if you were dying, you got him to smile.

 

You woke up in your own bed, someone snoring from your love seat but you couldn’t tell just who yet. You wondered if you’d died but quickly saw the bandage on your arm and smiled. You blinked a few more times, wiping the sleep from your eyes as you saw the dirty blonde hair on the back of the small couch move and stretch, glancing back at you and smiling, moving to lay back down before his head popped up again with wide eyes.

“Shit, you’re alive!” he said, bouncing up and running over, his hands all over your face and neck as you sat up in bed. “You feel cool again. Good. I think your fever is gone. How you feeling?”

“Like shit,” you said, moving to lay back down. “Did I meet my maker or what?”

“Got damn close. Real damn close,” said Dean. “The fever alone should have wiped you out for good, let alone the Croat nonsense.”

“It must be my sunshiny attitude,” you said, taking a deep breath. “I’m exhausted. Fuck, it’s been a long day.”

“Um, more like week,” said Dean, your eyes opening slowly to see him pulling over a chair to sit next to you in. “Eight days actually.”

“Eight days? You would think I’d feel more rested after being in a coma,” you said.

“You weren’t. You’ve been waking up every day, more and more often so I was hoping you were getting close to being okay again,” said Dean. 

“It’s my own fault,” you said. “It was foolish to let Abby near my stuff and I let myself get cornered. Again.”

“There’s a difference between getting cornered and shoved face first into a trap. You weren’t foolish either. She was a member of camp and that means trust. I was the only one that let her in to be honest,” said Dean. “It’s my fault what happened to you.”

“No it’s not jerk. You didn’t know psycho was an actual psycho,” you said.

“I let emotions get in the way of a decision. She had Crooked written all over her but I ignored it and they ended up with a truck and a day’s worth of scavenging, not to mention inside information on this place or what they did to you. They’ll want this place,” said Dean. “We’re already working on fortifying.”

“We have more people here than that isolated group of twenty nutjobs. We don’t have to worry. Besides, you aren’t the first guy to get tricked because you thought a girl was hot,” you said, trying to get him to laugh but causing a frown to appear instead.

“I brought her in because she was the exact opposite of you. Cold, hard, straight to the chase, no time for smiles or jokes,” said Dean. “Made me realize why you left the first time around.”

“Dean that’s not true,” you said, moving your pillows to help you sit upright. “Maybe you were all of those things but underneath it? You were kind. You made a camp, a safe place for everyone. You’re not a Crooked. You’re a Winchester.”

“You need some food,” said Dean, moving into your kitchen, throwing a pot on the stove.

“Yummy, more beans,” you said, closing your eyes as you listened to him move around for a while, the chair beside you creaking again. 

“Eat up,” he said, holding the bowl for you and spoon, watching your eyes flicker up to his.

“That’s mac and cheese. Where did you find mac and cheese?” you asked, Dean holding the spoon up to your mouth, giving you a smile when you took a bite. You smiled so hard your cheeks hurt, Dean slipping one on his own face as he gave you another bite. “You have to have some.”

“It’s yours Y/N,” said Dean, your hand on his wrist doing nothing from stopping him to give you a third mouthful. 

“I’m not eating anymore unless you have some too,” you said, Dean bringing up a fourth spoonful. “Dean.”

“I will have one bite and then you can have the rest,” said Dean, pausing a moment before slipping the spoon in his mouth, his eyes shutting as he nearly moaned. “I hope the Kraft family survived the apocalypse because we need more of this.”

“Have more,” you said, pushing his hand to take another bite, instead getting a spoonful in front of you. You shut your mouth and Dean waved it a little before you opened up.

“You need your strength back, Y/N. Please don’t fight me the next few weeks on helping you recover,” said Dean, swapping out the spoon for the water by your bed, helping you with it when you realized you couldn’t hold it yourself.

“You smile now. You earned the right to help me,” you said, Dean smirking as he helped you finish the rest of your meal.

“I have a meeting to run to but I’ll be back in an hour. I promise,” said Dean, cleaning up your dishes and refilling your glass. “I’ll see if the mess hall has any straws too.”

“You’re busy. You don’t have to wait on me hand and foot, Dean,” you said, giving him a tired smile.

“Funny you mention that. I’m about to go beg to not be kicked out camp,” said Dean. 

“What?” you asked, trying to get out of bed, groaning at the motion before slumping back into it.

“I broke rules, big rules. The other camp founders have a right to get rid of me. Don’t worry about it. One way or another, I’ll be back in an hour,” said Dean.

“No,” you said, attempting to move once again, Dean rolling his eyes as he came over and tucked you back in. “No, I’m coming with you.”

“Rest, sweetheart. That’s an order. Might be the last one I ever give.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean helps the reader with her recovery before they have a chat…

It didn’t take long to fall asleep after your big meal, despite the nervousness you had about Dean not being allowed to stay. He’d made a mistake he had no way of knowing was going to turn out like that. Bobby, Chuck, Cas…they wouldn’t get rid of him for letting Abby in, for letting you in with a bite, for not killing you outright…they couldn’t. Or at least they shouldn’t. Rules like that were important and meant for safety but…he did save you after all.

“Hey,” said Dean, gently shaking you awake. “I stole a twinkie for your dessert.”

“Are you-”

“I’m fine. Although I did suggest something. When you’re better, you’re taking my spot on the board for letting in new members. I think it’d be good for you, for both of us,” said Dean. He took a seat on the edge of your mattress, running a hand up and down your arm, his sudden shift in behavior over the past few hours causing you concern. “I’m not lying. I can stay.”

“Are you sick? Did I get you sick somehow?” you asked, Dean shaking his head at you. You cocked your head and he scooted a little closer, pulling your hand into his lap.

“This band you kept on…you think it means you weren’t allowed to leave camp. That’s what I told you when you saw some people wearing them so I understand why you’d think that,” said Dean. He turned your palm face up and started drawing over the lines, your hand feeling tiny in his. 

“They all had green bands on,” you said, Dean nodding. “Green means they’re part of a family. But mine is red…”

“This camp is a community. I…may have been…too angry for my own good,” said Dean, his head down as he started to play with your fingers, tracing over the healing scrapes along your knuckles. “I forgot the whole point of the camp, to have a safe place people could live. You just…reminded me what a shitty job I’d been doing.

“So I pushed and pushed because I am  _really_  good at keeping people out and I pushed you a little too far because you left,” said Dean. He turned your hand over and let it rest in his palm, rough and calloused but warm as it sat there. “All you wanted to do was see me smile, just once, right?”

“No,” you said. “I wanted you to be okay. A smile was just…all I figured I could ever get from you.”

“I’ve never been okay, sweetheart. Maybe I used to but after the Croats and my brother were gone, I really wasn’t,” said Dean, half-sighing, half-laughing. “I should have died in that warehouse. I should be ripped to shreds. You could have stolen my truck, taken my supplies, left me for dead…you could have made your life easier. I didn’t get it at first, thought maybe you had some weird code you were living by until I realized…everyone else changed. You’ve always been this way, always been helpful and kind and strong. The world ended for most of us but you…it was just the next day. Details changed but you didn’t.”

“Are you okay?” you asked, lacing your fingers with his, giving them a soft squeeze, all you could manage. “You’re worrying me. You didn’t lie and say…if they said you have to go I want to talk to them. Take me, I don’t want you to go away.”

“I’m not okay,” he said, tilting his head to look back at you. “But I’m better than I was and I’m not going anywhere. You’ve got a red band on after all.”

“What’s it actually mean?” you asked, Dean’s cheeks showing the lightest shade of pink. “You’re blushing.”

“It means you’re very important, Y/N,” said Dean.

“You’re lying,” you said, trying to pull your hand away, Dean’s grip too tight to get out of.

“I’m not. I’m just not telling you the whole truth,” he said, his eyes asking you to push again, to get him to talk.

“Tell me or I’ll take it off,” you said, pushing hard with your free hand to sit up, toppling forward against his arm, resting against his shoulder as you got your breath back. “Tell me.”

Dean gave you a tiny smile as he shifted his body, his hands on your arms helping you stay upright. He started to slide them up to your shoulders as you turned your head, a pleasant shiver running down your spine. As his hands found their way to your face, long fingers tucking stray hairs back, you saw his green eyes were much closer now, waiting for you to understand what he was doing.

“If you won’t tell me…” you said quietly, using up too much energy to lift your hand and wrap it around his wrist, “Show me what it means.”

He tilted his head forward and you met him there, his lips somehow soft, his stubble scartchy but a little ticklish and all too soon he was moving away, your body practically falling into his lap.

“You need to rest, Y/N,” said Dean, pulling you back up. You felt ready to fall asleep but managed to reach out and grab his jacket, tugging him forward not more than a centimeter but enough for him to understand. He pressed his lips to yours again, his body shaking with the effort it was taking for him to not do anything more, nothing that would exert you any further. You barely felt him lay you down, your eyes fluttering open when you felt the weight on the bed move away.

“Dean, don’t go. We need to…” you said, closing your eyes. “Need to talk Dean.”

“I’m just going to lay down over here, sweetheart,” said Dean, the sound of his boots thudding on the floor shocking enough considering he was never that comfortable, even in his sleep. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“What’s it mean,” you mumbled, fighting off your fatigue as best you could, knowing you were losing the battle any second now. “The band.”

“Nothing at all, sweetheart. I guess it means you trust me is all,” said Dean.

“Liar,” you breathed out, smiling at him. “Truth or I won’t let you kiss me again.”

“Flip the band inside out,” he said, your eyes barely opening, Dean sitting on the love seat, wearing a smile of his own as he watched you. You fumbled with the band, spinning it around when you saw writing on the inside.

_This person _____

“S’blank,” you said, showing it to him, closing your eyes again, knowing they weren’t opening up anytime soon. “Winchester, it’s blank.”

“I haven’t decided what I want to write yet. Now sleep, Y/N. You need to get your energy back.”

 

After a few days of bed rest, you were back to normal Cas said. You told him about how you hallucinated that he teleported when you were bitten but found out very quickly he actually did that. He’d been an angel at one time but lost most of his power apart from some of his healing abilities and very limited teleportation. One conversation with Cas led to you finding out about the supernatural and that the Croatoan virus essentially wiped everything off the planet from what they figured. You’d finished up your first day back at work by sitting on Dean’s bed that night after dinner, asking if  _every_  monster you’d ever heard of was real.

“Pretty much,” he said. “The bunker has a lot of information on supernatural creatures. It’s way too risky to try another field trip there though.”

“How did you get me out of there? I thought I was a goner,” you said. Dean shrugged and gave you a tiny smirk. “You aren’t going to tell me?”

“It was messy but you got out safe which is all that mattered,” said Dean, stepping away from his notebook that he seemed to keep everything in, putting a hand on your forehead. “You still feeling okay? No fever back?”

“Cas gave me a clean bill of health,” you said. “Are you okay? Like can we talk about what happened the other day?”

“I was hoping you forgot that,” said Dean, your body stiffening up as you moved a little farther down his bed. He stood up and plopped down next to you, leaning back against the wall, one hand slowly resting down on your leg. “In case you haven’t met me, talking about feelings isn’t exactly my strong suit.”

“You have feelings for me,” you said, looking at the other side of the room, Dean’s hand moving slightly on your leg to get your attention back.

“I…I was perfectly fine until you came along, you know that? I was just…let other people have that mush crap and then you just…were so fucking intent on making me happy and…you made me think you cared about me maybe which is ya know, a big deal,” said Dean, pulling his hand back.

“I do care,” you said, putting your hand in his lap, letting him decide if he wanted to take hold or move it aside. “You assume that because I have a more positive outlook on life that I’m not scared to let people in, right? Trust me, being alone was perfectly fine with me until I came here and then when I left you know what happened? I got homesick for this place. I wanted other people and that is incredibly dangerous now. But I wanted them and even the end of the world can’t stop that.”

“I understand that,” said Dean, wrapping his hand around yours, letting the room go quiet as you sat next to one another, relishing his touch and the way it made you let go of that last sliver of unease that never left, even at camp.

“I should head back to my cabin before it’s too dark. I don’t like to waste the flashlights,” you said, not moving an inch.

“You could stay here,” said Dean, turning his head to find yours looking up. “If you want.”

“If I stay…we might…” you said, Dean nodding, moving his head in when you held up a hand. “We didn’t talk. We didn’t say anything.”

“I like you, you like me. I wouldn’t admit it, you’re struggling to admit it,” said Dean. “Sounds like we said everything already.”

“I don’t want to hookup with you,” you said. “Be another one of the women around here that’s on your list.”

“This isn’t a hookup,” said Dean, his hand finding the back of your neck as he planted a slow and rough kiss on your lips. He’d been holding back the first time for sure, this one so much more confident. 

“Stop,” you said, pulling away, turning your back to him. “I was bitten Dean. We don’t know if…no, just kissing you I’ve already put you in too much danger of something happening to you.”

“You should really talk to your research team,” said Dean, spinning you around. “We have a cure now.”

“No we-”

“You are the first person to ever live through this. Your blood, they can make a vaccine. They can cure the Croats, Y/N,” said Dean. “You’re the safest person in the world right now.”

“Dean that can’t be true,” you said.

“What’s that mouse you named? The little brown one?” asked Dean, giving you a smile as he hopped up and grabbed his notebook, bringing it back and flipping through the pages.

“Ruby? I told them they weren’t supposed to test on her,” you said, Dean putting the notebook in your lap.

“Ruby was injected with Croat blood from the looks of it the day after you were bitten. They gave your blood an additive, something I don’t quite understand but they gave it that thing and then stuck Ruby with it. She never turned, never got sick. They tested on a fully infected Croat version and…it reversed. You got your cure,” said Dean. “No side effects.”

“It’s just lab testing, it’s not humans or-”

“I got an injection five days ago,” said Dean, holding up his arm. “I volunteered to be the guinea pig and nothing’s wrong. I actually feel better than I used to. I think I was accidentally infected with your hope.”

“Are you fucking insane!” you shouted, bouncing off the bed, storming around his cabin before grabbing a pillow from his couch and screaming into it.

“Uh, I figured you’d have a happier reaction than that if I’m being honest…” said Dean, moving to stand when you turned to face him. “You’re pissed.”

“We don’t know if I’m going to drop dead tomorrow! We don’t know anything! You stupid…people depend on you! You can’t just do that. You break fucking rules all the time! You were supposed to kill me outright, not test a cure on me. We don’t know if I’m going to wake up as a Croat tomorrow, slaughter the camp in their sleep. We don’t know Dean and you put everyone in danger and I need to get the hell out of here,” you said, Dean’s jaw dropping and snapping shut multiple times as you spoke.

“Like hell you’re leaving again. You left before because I was rude and belligerent and downright nasty towards you. I am trying my hardest to let you in all the way and it’s terrifying so if you think that I’m letting you go again because now I’m too nice and I care about you too much, take a look outside. We could all die tomorrow from a million different things. I am not letting you go, not now. You can’t,” said Dean.

“I’m a risk,” you said.

“You’re really not,” said Dean. He stood up and pulled you into a deep kiss. 

“I have to go,” you said, pushing him away and standing, Dean’s hand catching your wrist. “Dean stop it!”

“You don’t get to force me to bring up all this crap, make me feel something and then say you can’t handle it. You don’t get to do that,” said Dean. 

“Oh and I thought I was just some annoying bitch that you’d rather be dead than have me around,” you said, Dean blinking at you. “You told me on my first freaking day you’d rather I wasn’t around.”

“Yeah, I did say that because news flash, I’m a bad person! I didn’t help you stay awake when you could have used it on that scavenge hunt. I brushed it off when you got sick because you were scared. I gave you a shit job and treated you like crap as thanks for saving my life. I’m not good,” said Dean, taking a deep breath. “I am sorry for every mean or awful thing I’ve ever said or done. I’m sorry for pushing this. I didn’t know how to handle feelings before the world ended and especially not now.”

“Sit down,” you said, scowling at him. “Sit on your damn bed.”

Dean moved slowly and sat on the edge of his mattress, staring at you the whole time. You ran your hands over your face, searching for the right words but instead just grunting and stomping your foot.

“Are you crying?” he asked quietly when you turned to face the other direction, your head down. You didn’t trust your voice and shook your head, fisting your hands by your sides. “All I do is upset you, don’t I?”

You shook your head and took a deep breath, coughing to try and clear your throat. You wiped at your face with your shirt and turned around, putting on a hard face.

“We’re fine. Let’s forget this happened,” you said. “Agreed?”

“Not a chance,” said Dean, staying in his spot but his eyes begging for you to come over to him. 

“We can’t,” you said, your feet walking over in front of him on their own, his hands reaching out to take yours.

“Why not?” asked Dean. 

“I won’t want to stop,” you said.

“Then we don’t stop,” said Dean. 

“I’m not all sunshine and rainbows,” you said, Dean gently tugging you to crawl into his lap, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, his own moving to embrace you.

“I’d be concerned if you were. You can cry in front of me. It’s okay,” said Dean. He didn’t move, didn’t let go of the breath he was holding, not until you leaned in and planted a kiss on him. He lay back, bringing you down top of him, no longer pushing or needy.

“Dean,” you said when you sat up for a breath.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” he asked.

“I want to stay,” you said, rolling off of him and laying your head next to his.

“If you stay…we might…” said Dean, your head nodding with his. “I should take you out on a date first.”

“Make me breakfast,” you said, Dean rolling on top of you. 

“Do you want this?” he asked.

“You aren’t bad,” you said. “You are the exact opposite of bad, Dean.”

“You hope that,” said Dean, dropping his head down, resting his forhead on yours. “I hope I’m not too far gone.”

“No, Dean. I know it,” you said. “You’re good to everyone, just not yourself.”

“Why’s that matter,” he said, shutting his eyes when you cupped his cheek, his head turning into it.

“If you’re kind to yourself, it changes everything. It’s how I didn’t lose myself. Take care of yourself and you can take care of everything else,” you said, Dean’s face sliding down next to yours, burying itself in his pillow. You put a hand in his hair and stroked it, Dean tensing up. “S’okay, Dean.”

“Stay,” he mumbled, lifting his head, blinking rapidly a few times to hide away the tears that had welled up. “Show me how to be like you.”

“You don’t need to be like me. You need to be you,” you said, Dean contorting his face, the confusion rampant in his green eyes. “I’ll just help you find those kind parts again.”

“I’m not sure they ever existed,” said Dean.

“Then we’ll make them,” you said. “We’ll do it together. Promise.”

 

You woke up with Dean’s body curled protective around yours, his breath even on the back of your neck. His body was warm and you didn’t mind the slight chill on your bare arms with his own laying over your waist. You nearly fell back asleep when you felt him start to stir.

“Good morning,” he said, giving you neck a light nuzzle before giving you enough room to turn around to face him. 

“I haven’t slept through the whole night in a long time,” you said. Dean smiled almost shyly and moved a strand of hair from your face, his fingers grazing your shoulder and neck.

“Me either,” he said. “Normally this is the point where I’d kick you out.”

“Are you going to kick me out?” you asked, Dean shaking his head.

“I want to do it all over again,” he said, tugging you forward into him, your lips still sore from last night, Dean’s hand sliding between your bare bodies. “Every single day I want to do it all over.”

“Less arguing, more laughing,” you said, brushing your lips against his.

“You got it,” he said softly, stopping his hand to let a smile spread over his cheeks. “You’re extra cute with bed head.”

“Don’t be a tease,” you said, putting a hand on his chest.

“Yes mam’,” he said, rolling on top of you, throwing the sheets back until you were both giggling, sweaty messes.

After getting cleaned up in Dean’s bathroom, you saw Chuck sighing a breath of relief at you as you hoped down the steps.

“There you are. I thought maybe Dean pissed you off again and you left,” said Chuck. He cocked his head and had a tiny smile on his face, Dean coming outside a minute later, as hard set as ever. “You guys have a little sleepover last night?”

“Yeah,” said Dean, throwing an arm over your shoulders, looking down at Chuck uncertainly. “We’ve resolved our issues.”

“Are you two…dating?” asked Chuck, presenting the question to you more than him.

“Yup,” said Dean. “Is that a problem?”

“I think it’s an answer,” said Chuck, smiling when his joke went over Dean’s head. “I’ve missed the Dean I met. Maybe we can see more of him again.”

“Baby steps, Chuck. He’s not going to turn into Mr. Rodgers,” you said, moving with Dean to head off for breakfast.

“Well it is a beautiful day in the neighborhood…” said Dean, earning an eye roll from yourself and Chuck.

“Glad to have you back buddy. Y/N, I’ll meet up with you soon. We want to talk about this cure some more and testing,” said Chuck, off to go check in with the next person on his list.

“I wonder if they have bean burittos for breakfast?” you asked. Dean held your hand on the way to the mess hall, smirking as you went on and on about how great they were.

“Well it’s a good thing they serve them every single day then,” said Dean, getting an eyebrow raise and whistle from Benny when you passed him. “Shut up.”

“Whatever you say boss man,” said Benny, heading the other direction.

“You’re all giggly smiles today,” you said to Dean, catching his shrug. “I love it.”

“Today’s a great day, the first one in a long time,” said Dean. “It’s only going to get better.”

“Duh, we get bean burrittos,” you said, Dean rolling his eyes but laughing all the same.

“Yeah and I get to spend it-”

A large boom echoed throughout the area, stopping you both in your tracks. You heard another one go off, sounding like it was from the front gate.

“Red alert,” said Dean, patting you to go the other direction. “You know the drill.”

“I can-”

“You’re on personnel protection, Y/N. Go!” said Dean, breaking away as you took off in the other direction, spotting the family with the two year old running to where they were supposed to go, shouting at them to bring any stray kids they with them.

You spotted Chuck on his round up, Cas popping in front of you with the ten year old twins at camp and nearly making you trip. You mentally ran through your list and ran to each of the cabins before booking it farther into camp and down to the storage cellar, Cas at the entrance as you heard shooting and fighting in the distance.

“Everybody’s here that’s supposed to be,” said Cas, following you down inside, pulling the door shut and locking it behind him. Chuck was handing out the packs to the families that were kept there in case of an emergency and they had to leave, you and Cas watching the door.

“I didn’t know you carried a gun,” you said, Cas holding one by his side, taking a deep breath.

“I’m supposed to,” said Cas. “Dean asked me to.”

“Why?” you asked, 

“You have a red band,” said Cas, glancing at your arm. 

“What’s that-”

“You need to stay alive. You’re important. I didn’t ask for more, didn’t need to,” said Cas, taking a deep breath. “I’m pretty sure the Crooked are the ones that blew up our front door.”

“We can’t leave, not until we get the all clear,” you said, Chuck nodding as he came over to join you. 

“Let’s hope we get one.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the dust settles after the attack, the reader is left to navigate the aftermath on her own…

The second you got the signal you could leave, you ran out of the cellar as fast as you could, making a move for the front gate. You had to slow down when you saw the carnage there but after a few deep breaths you spotted Benny.

“Is anyone-”

“Everyone’s fine,” said Benny. “A little scraped up but we’re all okay. Can’t say the same for those Crooked folks…”

“Yeah, I can tell,” you said, avoiding looking to your right where some of them lay. 

“Dean knew this was going to happen eventually. Good thing we were prepared,” said Benny, watching you spin around to look for him. “He’s not here. One got away. Our lovely friend Abby. Dean went after her, said you’re in charge for now.”

“Me? No! Chuck or Bobby or you or-”

“Boss said you and you’re already his VP so time to step up, Y/N,” said Benny. You shook your head and he chuckled. “He didn’t tell you did he? Anything happens to him, he wants you to replace him.”

“I don’t know what to do, Benny,” you said, throwing your arms up. “I barely can run the research team and it’s just three of us.”

“Found a cure. Pretty impressive research team,” said Benny, patting you on the back. “Talk to Chuck and keep everyone away from the front gate today. We’ve got a mess to clean up and nobody needs to see this.”

“When’s Dean coming back?” you asked.

“I have no clue, honey. Dean’s not going to come back until Abby’s dealt with and I don’t know how long that’ll take.”

 

Six Months Later

“Morning boss,” said Chuck, bringing you a bean buritto as you tied your boot.

“Morning,” you said with a yawn, stretching out before taking a seat at the table, reaching for Dean’s notebook. “You brought me breakfast. Did someone die?”

“No, I have good news. Stacy and Todd had a healthy baby girl during the night. First baby born in who knows how long,” said Chuck.

“Aw, I want to see her when they’re up for it. Make sure Todd is off work the next few weeks. He’s a hard worker, he’ll want to get back but I want him to make sure he spends time with them,” you said, Chuck smirking at you. “What?”

“Six months ago you were terrified of this and now it comes second nature,” said Chuck.

“I don’t care if it’s the apocalypse or not. Babies are cute as shit and parents should get to spend time with them,” you said. “Speaking of apocalypse…”

“Charlie group is reporting more of the same,” said Chuck. “All Croats with the cure have returned to their former selves, no new cases, even with bites in the past six months. Distribution is running smoothly but slowly. We’re still working on large scale dispersal somehow, maybe by air but we really got it Y/N, we got the cure.” 

“It’s great Chuck, really,” you said, giving him a smile before glancing over to the green jacket on the back of a chair that hadn’t been touched in months. “He didn’t come home though.”

“We know he got Abby. We know he took a go bag and his gun. He’s alive out there, somewhere,” said Chuck.

“We couldn’t have gotten this without him,” you said. “If he never built this place up, we never would have found it. He deserves to know that he made the world start again.”

“I think he knows,” said Chuck. You went through your usual morning checklist, eating as you went, Chuck’s walkie going off the second you stood up. “Say that again?”

“There’s a guy at the front gate. Wants to talk to Y/N. Doesn’t want to come in or anything, just talk. Seems sketchy,” said Benny. You put your gun in your holster and threw on your coat. 

“We’ll be there in five,” said Chuck.

“You know the drill, boss,” said Benny. You crossed your arms and he huffed. “Fine, the guy tries something you can shoot him princess.”

“Such a gentleman, Benny,” you said, standing next to the gate. “Watch my back.”

The two of you stepped outside, the man tall, taller than Dean, his hood covering most of his face.

“Are you Y/N?” he asked, keeping his face hidden.

“Stand down Benny, I got this,” you said, waving him to go back inside. He did as told, the gate closing back up. “You’re Sam Winchester,” you said, spotting the coat from the photo you’d looked at so many times. “I thought you were dead.”

“I had an unwanted house guest for a few months,” said Sam, barely giving you a chance to see his face before hiding it away again. “He’s back in his cage.”

“I heard about that,” you said. “You’ve obviously heard about Camp Winchester then.”

“Stories mostly. Stories of a cure, stories I didn’t believe necessarily until I got about three hundred miles out and started seeing people again. There’s not that many of us left but…what we got is good,” he said, digging his hands in his pockets, offering you a smile. “I heard a badass chick Y/N runs this place.”

“I do,” you said. “Temporarily. I’m waiting for the boss to get back.”

“Dean’s alive,” said Sam, no surprise in his voice. “There was another story, a guy telling anyone and everyone about the cure, that it’s here.”

“Explains our sudden influx over the past few months,” you said, looking behind you. “We’re about sixty percent of the park now. We always have room for more if you’d like to stay.”

“I have some things to make up for,” said Sam. “I can’t settle down quite yet.”

“Is that a Winchester thing? This self-depreciating crap you guys got going on?” you asked.

“I kind of started the apocalypse,” said Sam with a shrug. “The least I can do is spread the word about this place.”

“Come home someday,” you said, pulling a red band out of your jacket pocket, placing it on his wrist.

“What’s this?” he asked, watching you turn the band inside out and fish a marker out of your pocket. “This person…is family. What does that mean?”

“It means go do your good Sam and then come home. Winchester’s are always welcome here,” you said.

“What’s your’s say?” asked Sam, seeing you flip it around to show it was blank. “Did Dean give that to you?”

“I’m waiting for him to come home too. He’s being a lazy ass about it but you know…at least he’s cute,” you said, Sam raising an eyebrow.

“He’s alright,” said Sam, smiling when he caused one to show up on your face. “Someday I’ll be back. I promise.”

“Wait,” you said, his body turning to go. “Would you like to say hello to your old friends?”

“If I do, then I’ll never leave,” said Sam. “I swear it, I’ll be back Y/N.”

“You better,” you said. “Home by the holidays at the latest Sam!”

“See you around, Y/N. Thanks for saving the world and all that,” he said with a wave, heading off down the road.

“Bye Sam,” you said, walking back inside.

“Oh! You know about the bunker right?” asked Sam, spinning around, stopping you in your tracks. “Might be a good place to look for Dean.”

“It’s not safe,” you said.

“Says the chick who can cure Croats? I’m sure Dean got all those people taken care of no problem now that Lucifer stopped filling it up as a joke,” said Sam. “If you’re looking, that’s where I’d start.”

“See you soon Sam,” you said with a wave, heading back inside.

“What’d he want?” asked Benny.

“Just a good samaritan spreading word of the cure. He’ll be back,” you said, turning your attention to Chuck who was talking to the motor pool lead. “Chuck? I’ve got to take off for a few days. Can you handle things around here?”

“Yeah. We’re well stocked and growing a lot of food now. We don’t need-”

“It’s personal business. I checked with the boss. She said it was fine,” you said, giving him a smile. “Four days tops?”

“Yeah, I got this. You know where Dean is, don’t you?” he asked.

“I don’t know actually but I can hope.”

 

Two Days Later

The garage to the bunker was open and looked a hell of a lot cleaner than the last time you were there which was a good sign you told yourself. Someone was living there and cared enough to have organized everything down to the tools on the bench. Still, you didn’t immediately call out for someone. Life around the camp had gotten safer but Croats were out and about and you couldn’t assume anything.

“I wouldn’t go scavenging in there if I were you,” said a voice behind you. “Hands.”

You held them up, your jacket sleeve falling down to show your band, a tiny laugh escaping the man behind you.

“Hi Dean,” you said, turning around, Dean already stepping forward and picking you up. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Taking care of you or at least trying to. I probably should have checked in that I was alright,” he said.

“Do you think so?” you said, patting his arm as he set you back on your feet. “Cleaned up the Croats running around here?”

“Yup, all taken care of. This place is good as new,” said Dean.

“We got a lot of people now and why the hell did you put me in charge! I wanted to come and find you,” you said. He shrugged and you rolled your eyes. “You better have a good reason for not coming home.”

“I am home,” said Dean. “I used to live here.”

“I know,” you said, rubbing your arm. “You just…didn’t come back.”

“Come inside, I have something I want to show you,” he said, walking past you into the garage. You found your way into the library again, Dean chuckling when he saw your hand over your gun the whole time. “This place is safe. Nothing’s going to get you again.”

“You’ve been researching?” you asked, spotting the stacks of books all around. “We have a cure.”

“I got to thinking that the cure is great but how do we deliver it? It’s not like a flu shot and we can expect everyone left in the world to show up at our door. The Croats would be a whole other problem to turn back so I thought think like the demons did. How did the Croatoan virus get released on such a large scale that the whole world was infected in a matter of days? I’m trying to figure it out. I think I’m close but I could really use some help,” said Dean.

“Do you think…Lucifer would know?” you asked, Dean’s face contorting. “Or someone who was in his head.”

“Y/N, Sam is gone. Lucifer…I told you that in confidence. Only the founders know how the world really went to shit. You haven’t…” said Dean.

“No Dean, I told no one. But Sam isn’t gone. Lucifer is,” you said.

“Sam’s dead. Lucifer is running around in his body,” said Dean, glancing away, taking a seat at one of the tables.

“I saw Sam. He didn’t look like he had the devil running around in him,” you said, Dean shaking his head.

“It wasn’t Sam. He tricked you. Somehow Lucifer survived when we attacked him and…I don’t know but there’s not much point if he’s still out there,” said Dean. You scrunched up your face and slid off your backpack, hopping up on the table, crossing your legs and staring down at him. “What.”

“It was Sam,” you said. “I know the difference.”

“You never met Sam,” said Dean. “You never met Lucifer. How would you ever know?”

“I have this thing called hope,” you said, Dean wanting so badly to roll his eyes at you. “He got a red band so it’s too late now.”

“It’s not Sam,” said Dean. You heard the front door open, your head whipping to the right, Dean’s looking the same direction as you caught sight of a patch of brown locks. 

“Y/N, we should have carpooled,” joked Sam, stepping down inside, Dean standing in front of you. “I figured I owed Dean an apology. I’ve only tried to kill you how many times since this all went down?”

“Y/N, go,” said Dean. “I’ll hold him off.”

“Dean, look at him,” you said, putting a hand on Dean’s arm as you got to your feet. “It’s Sam.”

Dean stepped away from you and gave you a hard glare that confused you. You looked over to Sam who was sighing. Dean was eyeing you up and down, his hand on his gun as you stepped back.

“You think I’m sick,” you said, Dean nodding slightly. “Or that I’m a demon.”

“I’m leaning more in that direction but yeah, you’re spot on,” said Dean. 

“I knew it was a mistake to wait this long to search for you. You should never have been on your own this long,” you said, Dean undoing the clasp on his holster, hand around the grip of his gun. 

“You both showing up here together, both of you…I don’t know if you’re human or demon or devil or Croat or what,” said Dean. “This is not a happy ending. We don’t get those.”

“You’re right. You already fucked that up,” said Sam, Dean taking his gun out, focusing in on Sam. “Do it. I deserve it.”

“No Sam, you don’t,” you said, Dean’s arms starting to raise up at Sam. You scoffed and drew Dean’s attention, his eyes on yours for a brief moment, gaze falling down when he saw you walk over to the younger Winchester. 

“Just get it over with,” said Dean, shoving his gun back in his holster, running his hands over his face. “I can’t…”

That’s when you noticed the scar on his forearm. A bite.

“Dean, sit down and take a deep breath for me,” you said, Dean practically falling back into his seat. You ran over to your backpack and pulled out the small case with the few doses of cure you always brought with you on trips. “Sam, I need you to come over here and make sure Dean doesn’t do something stupid.”

“Is he sick?” asked Sam. Dean shook his head at you but caught your sad smile.

“Dean was the first person to ever take the vaccine that hadn’t been bit. During testing we realized we were missing a little thing. It wasn’t fully effective, people went a little…coo coo for coaco puffs if you get what I’m saying,” you said, tugging Dean’s flannel off his arm, poking the head of a syringe into his bicep as he winced.

“What are you doing?” asked Dean, jerking away, taking a few deep breaths as he shook his head.

“He’s not exactly in the best state of mind is what I’m getting at. He should be back to normal any minute now,” you said. Dean huffed and ran his hands over his face, Sam standing watch next to Dean as you slowly saw him relax and lift his head up.

“Oh, I was going to…shit I was supposed to head back to camp months ago,” said Dean, shaking his head. “Shit.”

“You’re okay now buddy,” said Sam stepping away but Dean standing and pulling him into a hug fast. “Um…you aren’t going to try and kill me again, right?”

“No, definitely not. Sorry,” said Dean quietly. He pulled back and slapped his brother on the back, plenty more needed to be said but for now they both looked relieved.

“You okay?” you asked, reaching up a hand to ruffle Dean’s head. “I told you it was stupid to take that vaccine so soon.”

“I’d be a full fledge Croat if I hadn’t,” said Dean, giving you a brief smile. “It wasn’t my brightest moment though, I’ll give you that.”

“Speaking of which, Sam, take a seat,” you said, pulling out another syringe, Sam shaking his head. “You got out of this once, now sit your ass down Winchester.”

“She’s bossy,” said Sam, sitting down as you gave him a shot, Sam blinking fast a few times. “Woah that feels…good?”

“You were sick. Of course you feel better,” you said. Dean was leaning up against the wall, looking around a bit lost. “When’d you get bit De?”

“A long time ago,” said Dean, rubbing at his arm. “I was going to come right back. I swear it.”

“It’s alright,” you said, wrapping him up into a big hug. “You weren’t thinking straight.”

“When have I ever,” said Dean, taking a seat beside Sam. “How did you survive?”

“No idea,” said Sam. “You?”

“Her,” said Dean, nodding up at you. “I lost myself for a while there.”

“Y/N’s kind of…different,” said Sam, looking over as you took a seat across from them. “In a good way.”

“Can you come home now? I’m sick of being the boss. I’d much rather go back to sanitation,” you said, Dean chuckling. “Sam, you’re coming with us.”

“I told you kiddo, I can’t come back, not yet,” said Sam. “Maybe I can stay here as a halfway house. It’s only a two day drive from the camp. I can help relay people there, help distribute from here?”

“I’m sure we got distribution down if you want to help me tweak a few of the details,” said Dean. “I wasn’t completely nuts before.”

“I’ll think about it,” said Sam. “But I don’t guarantee I’m coming back.”

 

Three Months Later

“Good morning,” you said, Dean’s kiss on your shoulder waking you up.

“Morning, sunshine,” said Dean, his lips smiling against your skin. “Think we can sleep in?”

“Slackers, open up,” you heard Sam say from the other side of your door. 

“I’ll take that as a no,” you said, bending down and pulling Dean’s shirt over you and a pair of underwear on as Dean did the same. 

“Good morning,” said Sam when you answered the door. 

“Morning, Sammy,” you said, waving him inside. 

“I was just kidding about the slacker thing,” he said, taking a seat at your table as Dean pulled on another shirt and moved to make a cup of coffee, the gas back on in the cabins improving life immensely the past two months.

“What’s up dork? Cracking under the pressure of being boss yet?” asked Dean.

“I’ll make you take it back,” said Sam.

“Uh uh. We like our jobs now,” said Dean. “What’s up?”

“I was stopping by for breakfast was all,” said Sam, Dean rolling his eyes but ruffling his head as he sat a mug down in front of him. 

“We were going to sleep in you know,” said Dean.

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” teased Sam, earning a smack on the back of the head. “Jerk.”

“Bitch,” said Dean. “You still think we got a shot at making the playoffs today?”

“Obviously not. We are so the underdogs it’s not even funny,” said Sam. 

“Oh, we’re going to win,” said Dean. “Just got to have a little hope Sammy. Right Y/N?”

“Yeah, Dean. Thankfully we’ve got plenty of that around,” you said.

“Y/N, would you help me for a minute?” asked Dean, waving you into the kitchenette. “Can you hold out your arm?”

“Okay,” you said, holding up your left, Dean pushing it back down and pulling up the other one. He flipped your band inside out and grabbed a marker from the counter, smiling at you as he pulled off the cap and jotted something down, flipping the band back over.

“All set,” he said, giving your cheek a kiss.

“Finally figured out what you want to say?” you asked, Dean shrugging.

“Always knew. Never knew how to phrase it,” he said. “You’re allowed to look.”

“Someday,” you said. “I already know what it says.”

“Yes, you do sweetheart,” said Dean. “Thank you so much for it.”


End file.
